I’m sorry you’re unhappy with yourself

As if it’s not hard enough being a woman already, in this fast, roiling 21st century, us ladies have a LOT more to deal with than the generations before us.
Okay so even though we don’t have to burn our bras, fight for the right to vote or wear suffocating corsets all day: we definitely have a battle to fight. And we fight it every stinking day. Contrary to what some would like you to believe: our battle is no longer against men. More than anything, we battle ourselves and our peers. Other women.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I ask you to simply open up a magazine or browse a website with a large female audience. You are bombarded with “ways to improve this and that”, a thousand tips for a better lovelife or that one foolproof way to get the guy (or girl) of your dreams. Glossy fashion advertisements with extremely slim waisted women on every other page show us that there is only one way of living and that this is the only way to go. Walk in line or get out. Bow to our definition of beauty or hit the bricks sis.
Thankfully, a counter movement has come to rise. Those who celebrate the differences we are born with.
High-end brands are now respresenting themselves with not only plus-size models, but women (and men) of every shape, form and size. Just think of the Vitiligo model who is now the face of 2 major brands: Diesel and Desigual.
No longer are we afraid to speak up against the biassed culture of the popular. No longer do we bow down and listen to those who try to make us feel like lesser beings.
And yet. Yet all of these efforts seem to not be enough.
Still, there is so much hate for those speaking out. So many new ways to shut down people and trample their confidence.
Worse: the need to express ourselves in any way we see fit is now used against us. Again: not just by those who want us to walk in line; but amongst ourselves too.
I for one grow weary of even considering the fact that whatever I do to improve myself, haters will always be around to try and ruin it.
So I ask myself this question: what are they trying to ruin exactly? And who are they really hurting?
If I simply stop caring about what they say, I stop giving them the power to hurt me.
It sounds so simple when you put it like that, but the reality of the matter is en entirely different situation. To stop caring, means that you have to shut your eyes, ears and heart to a LOT of people. Because let’s face it: everybody’s got something to say about everything. Myself included.
Those who know me and interact with me on a daily level can tell you that I am one of the judgiest girls around. I have an opinion on everything and everyone. But here’s the thing: I don’t expect others to follow my way of thinking. It is my perogative to be inconsiderate about things that disturb me. I can have a say about everything and everyone, but I don’t force it on others. It is MY view and MY way of thinking and please don’t feel pressured into hopping on my crazy train.
In the end, to me, it boils down to this: I do what I feel is best for me and take the comments in stride. Some will hurt me, some will flatter me but all of it will build me up.
Be it working out 4 times a week, getting new tattoos, dying my hair, WHATEVER. I do it because I want to and you should respect that. Just like I respect your choice to get 12 facial piercings, rock a latex dress and put pictures of yourself in pretty raunchy poses all over facebook. It’s not my life, it’s not my path.
Whatever you chose to do: do it with passion, do it fully and do it because YOU believe it’s what you should do. Hear the haters but don’t let it define you. The only thing that can hurt you, is you.
Nobody was ever put on this planet to please the entire fucking world. Nobody expects you to. Do you, let your freak flag fly and stop trying to make others see it your way. None of us have it figured out in the end.
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