This is the question I’ve been struggling with a lot over the past months. This past year has in many ways been a good one for me. Next to making some changes in my personal life and really trying to follow a healthier path, I simultaneously have taken less time do take up some of my long-lasting challenges; which is to write consitently and often.
As much as I love the process of creative writing, it will always leave a shameful aftertaste in my mouth. Not only do I suffer from the typical “my way isn’t good enough” syndrome most creative minds seem to be dealing with, I am also a religious procrastinator who does not take kind upon herself for being so. All in all a great package deal when all you really WANT to do with your life is fill it stuck behind a desk with pen in hand (or as is more often the case: keyboard in front).
No matter how many stories are going on inside my head at any given point of the day, I will forever be finding excuses not to write them down. Sometimes the excuses are legitimate reasons but more often they are a way for me to prove to myself I don’t have what it takes to be a “Real Writer”.
Here’s the crux of the matter: What it will take for me to get where I want to be is nothing but pure and honest dedication. I take pride in surrounding myself with ambitious, talented, good people who work hard for what they believe in. For years I have been cheering on friends, loved ones and even people I don’t even like to become whatever they desire to be. In any way they see fit. Yet when it comes to chasing my own dream, I find myself stuck on my couch, hands full of ifs and buts. Action seriously lacking.
As of late, the constant nagging voice in my head who tells me to “buckle down and get some work done” has become impossible to ignore. Which left me with no other option than to do some serious soul searching and find a way out.
Turns out that what I really needed to get myself going again was a chance. Someone to approach me and tell me: I want YOU and only you to write for me because I know your words and love them. Okay so yeah, that person was/is my best friend, but regardless! Her function in a pretty big company allowes her to chose whomever she deems suited for a commissioned job. Being one of my -very few- confidants, she was familiar with my style of writing as well as my work ethics and attitude.
I can never explain to her how thankful I am to have been given the opportunity she gave me. Even if it wasn’t a completely creative assignment. It was the trigger I needed to pull myself back on my horse and get going again. Not only have I taken up my creative pen again, my journal has some new additions too.
The result? A new assignment already lined up for 2017 and it will take a whole year. I’m damn excited to have my words read by thousands of people. Not a big deal in the vast world of creative writing, but a huge hoopla in mine.
Thank you Leo. For everything.