Now that I am well in my twenties, thirty is creeping closer every day actually, I feel that I am entitled to finally have my say about this little sore point we’ve all had to deal with in our lives at one point or other.
I am talking about a specific type of person. The please-feel-bad-for-me guy or girl. The one who keeps up a constant stream of complaints about how everything that is wrong with their lives is everybody else’s fault. The whole world seems to gang up on them and nobody wants to understand or help.
You know the type right?
Yeah. We all do.
From my own experience these can be divided into two main categories: those born for bad luck and those who don’t see what they actually have. You can guess who gets the most of my understanding -if I ever have any.
How can I possibly blame you for being born under the wrong stars? You can’t help it that you grew up in a bad home, had poor nutrition, got bullied in primary school and let’s face it: never truly shone in anything. You’re not perticularly smart nor do you have the best taste in fashion. Or you don’t have the money to buy something nice. All of this is not on you. Neither is it on your family really. What is on you, is that you keep complaining about it. You carry the weight of your sorrows around everywhere you go. Never letting any of it go, you fester and turn bitter. Still: can I be mad at you for that? Can I scream in your face to finally, finally shut the fuck up? Should I slap you in the face after the umpteenth verse of “the shitty life blues”? Nope. Because bless you: you don’t know any better. Whenever I feel a moan coming up, I’ll make myself scares with some lame excuse you’ll believe because that’s all people ever do.
No, these sad saps are cool in my book.
What I truly, deeply and passionately hate are the moaners who have everything to make something of it, but just don’t try. And after what I have to say, I bet you’ll agree with me.
They first rear their ugly heads in high school. In every class in every grade there’s at least one over privileged kid that simply refuses to do anything worth while. They’d rather spend their time slacking off, annoying others and being a general douchebag. They flunk exams but no worries: mommy and daddy will be there to clean up the mess. Lawyers and lawsuits won’t cut it? Not a problem either! We’re sure there’ll be a school that will have you. No matter that you’ve been kicked out of 5 fancy overpriced “lyceums”. Why did they get kicked out? Well I can tell you this: it’s never, ever their own fault! The teachers hated me, the other kids were a bad influence, it wasn’t a good environment for them. Teachers of all times have heard all of these excuses and they will tell you they are nothing more than exactly that: lame excuses.
If they somehow manage to graduate it’s time for college. Preferably some preppy majors that make sure they’ll be well suited to start working for father’s pocket and hopefully one day maybe even I don’t know… become a proper man/woman. Sadly, they love the freedom of the dorm life a bit too much. There they go flunking out again. Once again mommy and daddy do their best to pick up the pieces, with some doubtful successes along the way.
Now baby boy or girl is all grown up and ready for the real world. The real world, full of self-made men and women who know just how to deal with your bullshit. Your parents won’t be there to hold your hand when you go in for the job interview. Doesn’t mean they can’t grease the palm a bit before you shake it, but still: it’s gotta be done by you.
This is where the trouble starts. Because of the lack of experience in actually failing at something, or maybe we should just call it experience in life, they are left angry and digruntled with the world around them. And trust me: they won’t hesitate to let you share in the misery!!
It’s that one friend who always knows how to ruin a good bottle of wine with a long winded story about how they just got fired again because “nobody gets me”. It’s the colleague that you find standing in the coffee corner 8 times a day yapping about the fight she had with her husband and how he’s the worst guy ever yet they’ve been married for 15 years next week. It’s the boyfriend with a wealthy family who has squandered away his trust found before the age of 21 and now is mad at father because he just won’t pay for that new Audi. It would have been car number 8.
Relationships go sour together with friendships coming to a close, preferably all with some drama they can later recount and brush off as “that crazy bitch/bastard tried to ruin my life”.
The latter group are off the worst I guess, because they will never truly be happy. With anything. Nothing will ever be good enough for them so please don’t think that your advice is gonna make a goddamn difference. Has it ever done before? Have they ever listened to you? No. They never do. They love the sound of their own voice too much to even consider listening to whatever you have to say.
Most of us have been this person at one point or another. But what most of us don’t do, is wallow in it. The majority of us get up one day and say “fuck this, I’m gonna own up to my actions from now on.”
Does it come naturally? Fuck no! You have to put in a shitton of work to get there. You need people around you who tell you day after day that it’s okay to be flawed. But most of all: you need to tell yourself that.
Only when you admit that just being brings mistakes with it, you can grow into becoming an actual person instead of a whiny little bitch.
When you admit to being wrong sometimes: things might just go right for a change.